persons=new initArray("Albert Einstein","Mahatma Ghandi","General George Armstrong Custer","","","","","","","", "Henry Kissinger","Niels Bohr","Disclaimer","","Albert Einstein","Albert Einstein","Jürgen Becker","","","Woody Allen", "Sir Arnold Robinson - Yes, Minister", "Woody Allen","Dr. Stephen Hawking, 1994","","","Oscar Wilde","Voltaire","Groucho Marx","", "Winston Churchill","George Burns","","Tom Clancy","","Rich Cook","Frank Zappa","Mahatma Gandhi","","Bertrand Russell","George Bernard Shaw", "", "", "", "Douglas Adams")
quotes=new initArray("Ich kenne nur zwei Dinge, die unendlich sind: Das Universum und die menschliche Dummheit, wobei ich mir beim Universum nicht ganz so sicher bin.",
"Die Geschichte lehrt uns, daß uns die Geschichte nichts lehrt.",
"Damn, that's a lot of Indians!",
"Who's that General Failure, and why is he reading my disk?",
"The only thing more dangerous than an unanswered question is an unquestioned answer.",
"When I die, I hope to die as my grandfather did, quietly in his sleep - not screaming like the passengers in his car...",
"Das Gehirn ist ein wunderbares Organ; es beginnt mit der Arbeit, sowie man morgens aufsteht, und hört erst bei der Ankunft im Büro damit auf.",
"Wind*ws95, n:<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor,<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;written by a 2 bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition.",
"People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made.",
"The things that come to those who wait are usually the things left by those who got there first.",
"Ein Kompromiss ist nur dann gerecht, brauchbar und dauerhaft, wenn beide Parteien damit gleich unzufrieden sind.",
"Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.",
"Because of heavy processing requirements, we are currently using some of your unused brain capacity for backup processing. Please ignore any hallucinations, voices or unusual dreams you may experience. Please avoid concentration-intensive tasks until further notice. Thank you.",
"Better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool rather than open your mouth and prove them right.",
"Sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. Place your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. THAT'S relativity.",
"Ich wei&szlig; nicht, welche Waffen im n&auml;chsten Krieg zur Anwendung kommen. Wohl aber, welche im &uuml;bern&auml;chsten: Pfeil und Bogen.",
"Wenn einem das Wasser bis zum Hals steht, dann sollte man den Kopf nicht h&auml;ngen lassen.",
"Money talks, but all mine ever says is 'Goodbye!'",
"Linux user: 'Ok, the GUI sucks, but see how fast and reliable it is?'<br>Windows user: 'It hasn't crashed since yesterday!'<br>Mac-user: 'Look, how it matches the furniture!'",
"Der Unterschied zwischen Tod und Sex ist, dass man das mit dem Tod allein abmachen kann und keiner sich &uuml;ber einen lustig macht.",
"If people don't know what you're doing, they don't know what you're doing wrong.",
"Ich m&ouml;chte nicht Unsterblichkeit durch mein Werk. Ich m&ouml;chte Unsterblichkeit durch nicht Sterben!",
"A computer virus should be considered a form of life, but I think it says something about human nature, that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.",
"Das Leben ist wie ein Adventure. Die Handlung ist beschissen, aber die Grafik echt geil.",
"Wouldn't the sentence 'I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign' have been clearer if quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and Chips, as well as after Chips?",
"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.",
"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.",
"Ich m&ouml;chte nie einem Klub angeh&ouml;ren, der Leute wie mich als Mitglied aufnimmt.",
"Diplomacy: The art of saying &quot;nice doggey&quot; until you can find a big stick.",
"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.",
"It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.",
"Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.",
"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.",
"Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!",
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.",
"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.",
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.",
"NEVER under estimate the power of stupid people in large numbers.",
"War does not determine who is right - only who is left.",
"Ich bin bekannt für meine Ironie. Aber auf den Gedanken, im Hafen von New York eine Freiheitsstatue zu errichten, wäre selbst ich nicht gekommen.",
"The probability of someone looking at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions.",
"Nichts auf der Welt ist so gerecht verteilt wie der Verstand. Denn jedermann ist davon &uuml;berzeugt, dass er genug davon habe.",
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.",
"In the beginning the Universe was created.<br>This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.<br><i>(The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe)</i>"
);
lang = new initArray(
"de","de","en","en","en","en","de","en","en","en",
"de","en","en","en","en","de","de","en","en","de",
"en","de","en","de","en","en","en","de","en","en",
"en","en","en","en","en","en","en","en","en","de",
"en","de","en");

function getCaption(lang)
{
        if (lang == "de") return 'Das Zitat des Tages <img src="icons/flagde_on.gif" alt="German" width="24" height="17" border="0">';
        return 'Quote of the Day <img src="icons/flagen_on.gif" alt="German" width="24" height="17" border="0">';
}

function DoQuote()
{
        today = new Date();
        quote = (today.getMonth() * 31 + today.getDate()) % quotes.length + 1;
        document.writeln('<table class="Light" cellspacing="0"><tr><td class="Caption" colspan="3">', getCaption(lang[quote]), ':<\/td><\/tr>');
        document.writeln('<tr><td><br><table><tr><td width="20px">&nbsp;<\/td>');
        if (persons[quote] != "") document.writeln('<td valign="top" nowrap><b>', persons[quote], ':<\/b><\/td>');
        document.writeln('<td>&quot;', quotes[quote], '&quot;<\/td><\/tr><\/table><\/td><\/tr><\/table><br>');
}